Today, my fellow legion of heretics (and those believers who may read this for whatever reason), we shall discuss the Bible. But I'm not here to point out logical fallacies or blatant lies. No, that's easy, and easy isn't what I'm out to accomplish.
For a moment, I will, if only for argument's sake, accept that the Bible is the 100% accurate word of God. I shall now live my life according to its principles, and thus refrain from sin until such a time as I finish this little exercise.
And done. I would like to have said something, but I couldn't, because I refrained from judging others. I do notice, however, that those who claim to be believers in this book usually do not. In fact, if anything, they are those most likely to judge others. So, either you lot just skipped that part, or you're hypocrites.
Maybe you didn't know about that one though. I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. So, Christians, here is your chance to show that you really do follow the teachings of the bible.
Luke 6:30
Read that, then read it again. Read it in any version of the Bible you have, in any language you know. Now, send me the deeds to your homes, vehicles, and checks for the full amount of your bank accounts, please? See, I not only asked, but I asked nicely. If you're really Christians, you will do this.
I note a lack of deeds and checks in my mailbox.
Which, of course, brings us to today's topic: Bible literacy.
Show of hands, how many people have actually read the entire thing? Forgive my presumption, but I'm guessing only the atheists are raising their hands right now. I've no doubt that most Christians have tried, likely several times. Of course, the old testament is a bit dry at times, with all the passages about who fathered whom and whatnot, so it can be far too easy to be thrown off track. Fortunately, guilt can be assuaged with a bit more money in the offering plate.
No doubt there are Christians who will say that they have, indeed, read the Bible all the way through. To that, I say shenanigans. Better than half of the atheists that I know lost their faith in God when they read the Bible. Others have their own reasons, but reading the Bible seems to be a very quick way to stop believing it.
So, having established that you haven't actually read your 'holy' book, I must ask why you feel that you should be quoting it to anyone. So, why do you do it? You don't even know what it says, yet you feel that others should be living their lives by it? What the hell is wrong with you?
I think you're afraid. You live in constant fear that you don't believe enough, and so you try to get others to believe. After all, if these people who you think are intelligent believe, there must be something to it, right? And if nothing else, maybe God will look more kindly on you in judgment.
Well, I'm here to tell you not to fear. If something is worthy of respect and worship, then we should not fear it. And if your god inspires fear, you should tell them where to stick it.
